17-9-2010

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Loves is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It dose not take offense and is not resentful. Love take no pleasure in others people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes."

15-06-2010

Its been almost a month, since i last wrote anything in this blog. I 've been diverted by many things. By all that time my mind has been messed up pretty badly. Sometimes i wish the things that came to my mind just go away. But memory, sometimes, is a curse. For the past few weeks i have been trying to see her every possible time i could, even if there is no way she could be at home, i go around her house to see if she is there. It has been raining for a couple of weeks. All this downpour made the days look exactly like my mind, Sad and lonely. Sometimes i 've wondered that " are all these raindrops my tears? are they the symbol of my sorrow?"

But i realized that like the rays of the sun, which makes it way though the cloudy sky, the very sight of HER face gives me the joy, satisfaction...*-/ i donno what to call that feeling that i get........ i think i will just call it LOVE . So after all this days, today i saw HER .

At her house. i only got a quick glance but it was enough. Bcoz...

My love is like the wind

U can't see it .........

But U can feel it.........

23-5-2010

Its 2:43 in the morning & i can't get any sleep. It's that feeling again, the feeling like something is burning inside me. I can't stand it any longer. This may or may not be the end for me. I can't bare this pain anymore. My body hurts like a million needles are being pierced into it. Wait.... no that's not right, its ain't body that's feeling the pain its the mind or the thing that we call heart. I can't think straight, I can't concentrate on a thing.... I'm loosing my temper..... I'm angry at everything, even if I don't know why?..... I have been like a mad man sometimes, sometimes I don't know what to do.... sometimes I will stay staring at nothing.... I cry sometimes, but i don't know why?.... The Day. I had many expectations in my life on that day. I didn't expect HER to say yes to me, because we were only 14 then. I can see all things that happened that day like film reel playing over and over again. My life its not in ma hands any more; its gone.... gone to her. I don't know what i'm goin' to do. I don't really know. Ohhh GOD almighty am I doing wrong, actually what am i doing. I have done daring and crazy things in my life. Things that was unbelievable, even for me itself. But this is something that is takin my breath away. Ohh i can't breath. I feel like someone or something is trying to escape or trying to get out from my body. I feel like I am trapped inside my body and the real me is trying to get out of there.

Its 4:10 now i have been writing down a lot now, but even now after writing all this down, i don't feel any better. Even now when I'm writing tears are rolling down my cheeks. I suppose i won't get out from here till i talk to her. Another day to be sad or worried. thats all for now its me

Vineeth going out there with a mask on............................

Life, sometimes, is like a movie. We may like the first part but not the second half...... Sometimes days are also like that. We might have a whole lot of fun till noon and our evenings.. kill us. But sometimes even in an unhappy endings there will be a ray of hope. I had one of those days today.

I was havin' a lot of fun till my friend[my best buddy] went away for his studies.... All the happiness gave way to a sad goodbye evening.. All these years he had backed me up and i feel a huge space of emptyness now. Even after all this happened i got a chance to see her after a long time.

But she won't even know.. BUT

My love

Its like the wind

" you can't see it

but, you can feel it"

Why did i love her; even when there are so many other girls in this world. U might ask, can't i find someone else. Love, can't fine somebody else. If you go searching for love, thats not love.

But, we can't decide in advance whom we are gonna love, can we???? We can't go in search of love. That love wont last. It must happen on its own. it should hit you unexpectedly. It should turn you upside down. It should always be with you. Like what happened to me when i saw her. Thats true love. that happened to me. So actually i didn't choose her. That love struck me, when i saw her. I like this pain now, it has become a part of me......

So I walked through these empty corridors searching for HER. Dreaming foolishly to find her. May take months, years or decades. I’ll find her once to talk my heart out. I may not be the prince of her dreams or a knight in a shining armor. But my heart is true. It has been true to her all these years. But what; she won’t even know. But one day, in her life, she will realize how much I loved her. That day will come.

LOVE , we can't force someone to love you. as per me its worse than death. May be some of you reading this would think that i'm crazy/ mad. In a way you people are right. Some say love is blind, some say its crazy. if thats true you people are right, i'm mad. Madly in LOVE.

The moment i saw her, i knew without a doubt, that she was the one. I started to dream good. She was the one who taught me how to see beautiful dreams. We became friends as days passed. We had fun and little little friendly quarrels. For everybody we were just friends, But for me she was everything. As almost a year passed, i was getting scared if it will be too late to confess my love. That was when i realize time can really fly. I was afraid, but i found a way to let her know my love. On the day of our Christmas celebrations, i told her about my love towards her. I couldn't even think of her crying, angry and sad face. She threw me off.

It's been more than six years, from that day. I still remember that day as it was on a film reel which is playing before me right now. It was dark, it was scary and it was the last day of my life........... the last day that i spoke to her or she spoke to me. It has been six long years; from where i started dreaming. She taught me how to dream. who knows,may be one day my dreams will come true.....

I didn't expect HER to say "yes", may be i did back then; but not now. Because we both were only 14 after all. As i grew six years older, so did my LOVE towards her. But she never knew.

14 years, it may not be a good age for anyone to fall in LOVE.

But by all odds I did. I fell in love, as it was the deepest trench in the universe. Oh... sorry i forgot. Lemme introduce myself, I am Vineeth. I was an ordinary teenager who was stubborn, talkative, enthusiastic, daring, one who loves to hang out with friends.

Now about my love, I saw HER in my class for the first time in ma life... Even now i can't experss what i felt at that very moment.

what happened after that in the next post